Hot Mess Mama

So I know it has been awhile since I have posted something on here but my life has just been such a whirlwind lately. I have become the epitome of a hot mess mama lately. It is almost as I blink and an entire week has gone by. To be honest I have had a bit of writer’s block as well because my mind has just been going a mile a minute. I have had so much going on that I can’t seem to really sit down and focus on something that I would want to write about. I think it’s also because even though I have said that I wouldn’t sugar coat anything and I wouldn’t hide anything anymore, it doesn’t seem to be as easy for me to actually do that. I still care about who could read it or what people may have to say about it. It honestly is incredibly hard fighting this inner battle with myself because part of me wishes I could just be an open book but the other part of me knows that there are way too many judgmental voices out there. I just don’t have the patience to deal with listening to their bitching about it so I may still pick and choose what I decide to put out there. I actually just had a conversation with someone about this that while sometimes it’s good to get it out and see what people have to say or not care what they have to say. Also sometimes, it is just better to keep things to yourself. Maybe one day when things change I will be able to be more open about it, but for now… I will write about the things that I am not afraid to hear others opinions. However, just to get you guys caught up on the madness that has gone on in my life lately… here you go.

My sister and I decided to open our own business! She has been looking for ways to make some extra money and I honestly have always wanted to do this but just couldn’t handle it all alone. About 6 years ago, I worked for a customized clothing company and I got into one of their departments called “Cad cut”. We would use this software to create different images, then send them to a printer that would cut out the images onto the vinyl, and then we would heat press them on to items. I had only just started getting in to that department when I left that job but I always thought it was so cool and so easy to do. Now they make machines where you can do that in your own home. When I was pregnant with the twins, I started thinking about making my own unique onesies to save some money instead of buying those new onesies that were about $15 in the store. However, I did not have the best machines to make it at home and the heat transfer sheets from Staples could only do so much. Then a friend of mine who had the money to do this offered to go in to business with me. We had done some designs together before and with us working together; we could probably get it done. Nevertheless, the twins took up a lot of my time and then she stopped talking to me, so it didn’t end up happening. I made a few onesies and things here and there for friends but didn’t make anything serious out of it. I found out a few months ago that my friend had decided to go forward and open the business herself with some of my designs. It bugged me so much and then Kristen offered to do this with me. So we officially ordered the machines and have our first large order coming up! I feel crazy taking on so much since I still go to school full time, still working full time, have the kids all the time, and now this? It’s just crazy. However, this has the potential to create a decent amount of money for her and I so why not try it? I will definitely be posting more details once we get through this first order and start putting some things together. We have decided our business would be called J n M Designs after the twins.

Next… I officially have 2 year old twins. I cannot believe these two little babies are already two years old. How the hell did that happen? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was huge and whining that they were never going to come and I would be pregnant forever? Now they are two… Melody is not afraid of anything except for super loud noises…. And don’t lie… so are you. But she will take on any adventure, any challenge that comes her way and she will not give up until she is successful. Now that her surgery is past and she can hear, she is starting to talk again which is amazing. She gets so proud of herself when she says something correctly or knows someone’s name. She makes this adorable sound to show everyone how happy she is and how proud she is of herself. Then my Mr. James… we were told he is one of the smartest kids they have ever seen. He almost speaks in full sentences, he can tell you exactly what he wants (and what he doesn’t want), and has even started saying a few words in Spanish! I can’t believe my ears when I hear him talk. He knows exactly where people could possibly be during the day when you ask him and he can tell you all about his day and his friends at school. He knows everyone’s name in the daycare and they tell me they are constantly stumped on trying to come up with new ways to challenge him. I am just so proud of these two. There aren’t even words to really describe what I feel. These kids are just beyond incredible and I just feel so insanely lucky that God chose me to be their mommy.

Now that you’re a bit more caught up… I’m really going to try and keep to posting at least once a week. I honestly really love my website (and my followers!) and it makes me feel good to write. I feel like I have so much to say… so much to get out… but my insecurities and my depression keep me from sticking to a solid routine that doesn’t have to do with the kids. But I just enlisted a friend of mine to be my drill sergeant for my new diet (I need my body back!) so maybe I can fit in writing a bit into that new routine. Any suggestions?

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Their first school birthday party ❤

XOXO

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