Socialization as a Mom

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Are there any other parents out there that are as lonely as I am? It’s crazy to think how even when you’re a parent and you hardly are ever actually alone, you are so incredibly lonely at times. Let’s say single parents, you just see your kids all day or even if you go to work outside of the house… you still just go to work and then rush home to get your kids. As much as I love my kids, sometimes it is hard not getting to talk to anyone who can hold a conversation back with me and understands the things I go through. Here at my job, I constantly walk up and bug the receptionist here because she has gone through so many of the similar things with the father of her child and her daughter is around the same age as my kids. So on some things she can relate to how I’m feeling and it’s nice to get to just vent about it for a few minutes. Still every time I go up to her desk, her phone is still constantly ringing with texts from her friends. I’ve just struggled so much with finding friends that can relate to what I have going on. It’s hard to find friends that want to hang out and do things with the kids and me. I don’t necessarily want to go out and party like others my age or younger. I feel like I grew out of the bar scene when I was in college. I actually went to what would be considered an “old lady bar” and enjoyed a burger with Ryan and a friend. It was nice just getting out of the house, grabbing a few beers, and getting to talk about life.

How are moms supposed to find friends that are fine with not going out crazy partying? Who are fine with not wanting to stay out until 2 am unless it is filled with wine and bitching about life? I feel like I need tinder for mom friends. Does such a thing exist? If so, I will even pay for this service.

Why is it so hard to find people who are okay with just hanging out and talking about life? I’m not even sure I can put it into words how excited I would be to have mom friends close by who just want to hang out and have play dates. Even meeting friends and taking our kids to the zoo or the aquarium, just getting out of the house and socializing is such a luxury to me these days that I long for. It makes me feel so old but this is kind of the stage I’m at right now. Sometimes I feel like I annoy people always trying to make plans with them but I’m over feeling this down and all by myself. It’s hard. It’s hard just going to work all day, coming home and being with my kids all night and then doing the same thing all weekend. Honestly, it would make my week a whole lot easier if I could get out every now and then.

Back in September, I went down to Georgia to visit some family and see one of my friends Chelsea. We had met in a Facebook group for moms who were due in July/August 2016. Her son was actually born 3 days before the twins and we became even closer through Beachbody/Shakeology. I spent 2 days with her and her son since her husband works out of state. We had one day of a playdate at her house where the kids got to just play and socialize and she and I got to just talk about life. Then the next day we took both kids to the zoo. I honestly wish I could do that even just once a month. You underestimate how nice it is to just get to talk an adult. Someone who may even be able to relate to exactly what you’re going through but at least someone who can just talk to you. It would just be nice to go out and talk to a mom that has kids so she understands that I may not be able to go out partying that night unless I have a babysitter and even if I have one, I may be beyond exhausted from life anyways. It’s just a different life sometimes when you become a parent but sometimes it is even the same when you just get older. I envy these kids on the playground or at daycare who just walk up to each other and they are friends and playing together immediately. Why is it so much harder and so different once you’re older?

I finally decided that I’m not going to let it hold me back any more though. If I’m stuck being all alone on most days, then I’ll just get out anyways. If the twin’s dad decides to come on those days, then it’s not as hard but I’m just not sitting at home anymore. So last weekend I decided I wanted pancakes and so I packed the kids up and took them to IHOP. I can’t tell you how bad my anxiety was when I walked in and the look I was given when I said that it was just them and me. However, I survived. They ate their breakfast, they colored their pictures and I now know things that I should bring with me so that it may be easier on me next time. But I got my pancakes. I got out. An older couple there acknowledged me as well. The gentleman turned to me and was like “You know you’re going to heaven, right? Those kids are so well behaved out here and you know which cup goes to who and you’re so calm with helping BOTH of them to not spill anything on them.” He explained that he just felt like I needed to be acknowledged. I honestly almost cried in that moment. But I’m going to keep doing this. If there’s nothing going on one weekend, I’m going to go out and make things happen. Not even rain will stop me or hold me back.

But if there are any moms or anyone at all that is down to join me, let me know!

XOXO

1 Comment

  1. I’m not a parent, so I don’t know exactly what you’re feeling on this. But I do know how lonely it can be when there is no one around who gets you. When you just want to connect with someone and there isn’t anyone. And that’s not counting family cause sometimes you need a friend you aren’t related to. Someone outside of your inner circle. I wish we lived closer to each other cause we could take the littles to the park together and sit around watching baby tv and taking ridiculous amounts of baby pictures. Then we could drink wine and bitch about stuff when they went to sleep, lol. I love you, hun, and I hate that you’re hurting.

    Liked by 1 person

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