The day the twins were born… my entire life changed completely. They say with mothers it is the second that you find out you are pregnant but pregnancy for me was incredibly rocky. While I was pregnant I had to move twice (once out of state), I lost my job, I went through a lot of other personal hardships and I was so insanely sick that I couldn’t enjoy my pregnancy at all. The entire month of July 2016, I swore that I was in labor every other day. I had horrendous Braxton hicks contractions; I was so big and so miserable that I just wanted it over with. So badly to the point where when my water finally broke, I almost didn’t believe it. July 28, 2016, I went to the doctor for one of my last check-ups. They had determined since my daughter had not changed positions much in the last few weeks that most likely I would need a C-section anyways so they had scheduled it for 2 weeks later. I would be over 38 weeks pregnant but at least I finally had an end date in sight. Halfway through the appointment, I started having issues and they sent me over to the hospital to be checked out. The hospital determined that they wanted me on bed rest until my C-section date. At that point, I was so unbelievably frustrated and angry. After everything, they now expect me to just sit in bed all day for 2 weeks straight?! I was going to go out of my mind. However, I wanted to make sure the babies were safe, so off to bed I went. Unfortunately, my bed was so incredibly uncomfortable that I was stuck out on the couch.
On July 29, 2016, I woke up at 5 am and had to pee very badly. I struggled to get my gigantic belly out of bed and waddled my way over to the bathroom. The second I sat down, I realized my pants were soaked. As gross as it sounds if I did not still need to go to the bathroom, I honestly could have sworn that I had peed my pants. Then a lot more liquid was coming out but I knew that I wasn’t going to the bathroom. I remember finishing up, leaving my soaked clothes in the bathroom and then began waddling around looking for my phone. I was nervous to wake my mother up for yet another false alarm but I was starting to get nervous. I still remember to this day texting her asking if she was awake and if she would go check my clothes. She said she was almost positive that it was my water breaking but that since I wasn’t having any contractions, we could take our time getting ready. The entire time while everyone else was getting dressed and ready for their day, I sat on the toilet just letting the rest of my water break. I wasn’t sure it was really my water and Ryan didn’t really believe it either, but my mom kept telling me that either way we needed to make sure, so she would take me. We drove Ryan to work and then went on to the hospital. Once I got there, I remember the woman who checks you in looks at me and goes “didn’t I discharge you last night for bed rest?” It had been less than 12 hours since I had been discharged, so everyone who released me last night was still working.
I remember then that I had to fill out all kinds of paperwork and they handed me about 12 different hospital bands. I had my own, my “fall risk” one, my allergy one, the ones for the twins hands/feet when they were born and then the ones for Ryan for when he came later on. We then were wheeled into a waiting room where I called my sister. By this time, it was about 9 am and I remember calling her wondering why she was whispering to me. Turns out she had gone out way too late the night before and was still sleeping it off. Too bad Aunt KK…time to wake up!
Finally then I was wheeled back to be examined. I remember I got an older nurse who told me there was no way I was in labor because I wasn’t having any contractions. I remember completely breaking down and thinking “this is just never going to end… they’re going to live inside of me forever.” Thankfully, though once the doctor came in to the room, they poked me slightly with the speculum and there went the rest of my water. These two were FINALLY coming! That was at about 12:15 pm. We all thought we would have a while to go since I was not having any contractions, I wasn’t in any pain and both babies were stable and good to go. All of a sudden, they came in and said an OR was ready and it was time to go. All of a sudden, my relief, excitement, and all other happy feelings completely disappeared. I suddenly became EXTREMELY nervous and completely panicked. I broke down and was shaking saying I wasn’t ready and I couldn’t do it. Unfortunately, though, there’s no backing out now. I remember going in to the OR and getting all set up for the spinal anesthesia.
James Marshall was born at 1:19 pm weighing 5 lbs 15 oz. He immediately started crying and was just so beautiful and healthy. Then it was Melody’s turn. Melody had lodged herself way up in my ribcage so it felt like they had to dig her out of me. It was the absolute weirdest feeling ever and made me so incredibly sick all of a sudden. Then when she was born, there was no sound. She wasn’t crying and no one was talking to me. When you have a C-section, you are held down to the table and there is a blue sheet covering your face from seeing anything. So trust me when I tell you that when you are stuck lying there and no one will tell you what is wrong with your baby, it is the scariest feeling in the whole world. Shortly after, I heard the sweetest sound of my little girl crying. Melody Jayde was born at 1:21 pm weighing 5 lbs 10 oz. However, because she wasn’t breathing on her own at first they had to take her to the NICU for observation. I wasn’t allowed to hold her, just give her a quick kiss goodbye and that was it. I ended up having a full-blown panic attack and they had to sedate me. The next thing I knew I woke up in the recovery room. The nurses were amazing and snuck me down in to the NICU for a few minutes so that I could see Melody and hold her and then I was able to go back to my room where my little boy was waiting for me.
My life completely changed… I cannot even imagine my life without them. Through every sleepless night, every crazy day, I cannot wait for the next moment with them. Experiencing every milestone with them, watching them grow up, getting to see the little people that they are slowly becoming is an amazing feeling. Being a parent is the most incredible experience I have ever gone through. They now are almost 2 years old and I cannot believe how fast time is flying by. They both are walking and talking a mile a minute. They both had to have tubes put in their ears and their adenoids removed but other than that, they are incredibly healthy. It is an amazing feeling when I get to go home and pick them up from daycare. They run from the other side of the room into my arms so excited to see me. They are just amazing kids. They brighten up my whole world. They give me a purpose, a sense of meaning and they make life worth living.